Giving Notice

I’m not sure I actually meant to give notice.  I mean, I like my job.  I love the organization I work for.  I kinda wanted to stay, but when there was no option for that, all of a sudden it was do or die time.

Literally, as it turned out.

There’s nothing like telling your boss you are planning a big round the world trip one week, and then retracting it the next.  All because of a good deed.

Since breast cancer runs in my family, I’ve participated in research studies for the past 10 years.  Right now I’m signed up for both breast and ovarian cancer studies.  Routine stuff.  A blood draw here.  An ultrasound there.  Good deeds all around.

But apparently when you give notice, then you get a test result that says, “oh my, your levels are elevated for ovarian cancer.”

What?

Yep, it’s true.  “Can you test me again today? I can come in right now.”  No can do.  Have to wait an entire month to re-test.  Seriously.

Can you hear the brakes on my adventurous adventure screeching?

Tick tock, tick tock.  Waiting never was so much of a wait.

I plan my funeral 5 times over and identify every home improvement that must take place before I leave this world.

Finally the re-test.  Good news, free and clear.

So now it is game on.  I give notice.  I can barely get the words out.  I feel sick to my stomach.  I wonder, “What in the world am I doing?”  But something propels me forward.  Call it sheer determination.  Call it dumb luck.  Call it a dose of fear where you act without knowing you are acting.

And then suddenly everyone knows I’m leaving.  And I realize, it wasn’t that big of a deal in the end.  The world keeps turning.  The work keeps getting done.

The only important thing is to live — really live.  And I couldn’t live in two places at once, I had to choose.  So I chose a lifelong dream and I chose my family and I chose to say yes to all the crazy ways God lives out his life in me.

I think that’s what you really call do or die time.

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